How will you remember 2020?!

In Areas of Counselling, General Blogs, Therapies, Uncategorized by Kay ThomasLeave a Comment

Like so many of us my blog this April comes to you from isolation’ enforced by the current situation we all find ourselves, (Covid-19) a year we remember as a year we all put things on hold for different reasons,  some good and some not so good, but survival is the most important thing.

For those of you who are isolated and find yourselves in difficult situations, such as Loneliness, Domestic Violence/Abuse,  you  need be aware that there is still help available, charities are still open and offering their services:   (‘Domestic Abuse’ helpline their freephone is open, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247 ), Samaritans 116 123.

Spotting the signs of domestic violence:

  • Is your partner jealous and possessive?
    Is he charming one minute and abusive the next?
    Does he tell you what to wear, where to go, who to see?
    Does he constantly put you down?
    Does he play mind games and make you doubt your judgment?
    Does he control your money?
    Does he pressure you to have sex when you don’t want to?
    Are you starting to walk on eggshells to avoid making him angry?
    Does he monitor or track your movements or messages?
    Does he use anger and intimidation to frighten and control you?

Domestic abuse is the hidden shame that many people live on a daily basis, they hide it from friends and family, it also goes unnoticed by others close to the family, ie. Neighbours.  Children often live this shame and remember it often believing that they were partly to blame for their ‘mums’ or even their ‘fathers’ being abused’!  Why? Because for those abused etc, no matter what you do during these difficult times, whether, you’re playing happily with your siblings or just being a kid making happy noises, talking or just being happy, often the abuser will use this as a reason to level punishment upon the family. Rarely do the abusers ever acknowledge or apologise for their actions, but blame others for their actions. With effort and help from others you can leave and move on from such situations,  life can offer you sanctuary again! Blame is something we often take away from these situations, but learning that the blame lies firmly and solely on the abuser can be life changing, you do survive and you can find peace and  happiness, something you felt you never deserved.

Help is out there, and you need to know that many charities will guide you to a safe space and or listen to your plight,  the SAMARITANS 116 123 run a 24 hr service: email, are there to talk. Counselling services can also offer help using online platforms such as Zoom. Everything is out still there during these times you are not alone, at the click of a button you can still find sanctuary:

The police

Call the UK police non-emergency number, 101, if you need support or advice from the police and it’s not an emergency. If you’re deaf or hard of hearing, use our textphone service on 18001 101.

Local help

The Iranian and Kurdish Women’s Rights Organisation (IKWRO)External Link

020 7920 6460

Provides assistance and support to Kurdish, Farsi and Arabic-speaking women living in London.

Southall Black SistersExternal Link

020 8571 0800

Supports the needs of black (Asian and African-Caribbean) women.

Ashiana ProjectExternal Link

020 8539 0427 or 020 8539 9656

Provides temporary, safe housing for South Asian, Turkish and Iranian women aged 16-30 experiencing domestic violence. Helps those who may be suffering from violence and threats of violence at the hands of their family or community (honour-based violence) or from forced marriage.

National helplines

Domestic Violence AssistExternal Link – 0800 195 8699
Specialises in assistance to obtain emergency injunctions from being further abused.

Women’s Aid Domestic Violence HelplineExternal Link – 0808 2000 247
Free 24-hour national helpline run by Women’s Aid and Refuge.

Men’s Advice LineExternal Link – 0808 801 0327
Confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse.

National LGBT Domestic Abuse HelplineExternal Link – 0800 999 5428
Emotional and practical support for LGBT+ people.

National Centre for Domestic ViolenceExternal Link – 0800 970 2070
Specialises in assistance to get emergency injunctions from being further abused.

National Stalking HelplineExternal Link – 0808 802 0300
Guidance on the law, how to report stalking, gathering evidence, staying safe and reducing the risk.

Victim SupportExternal Link – 08 08 16 89 111
Free and confidential help to victims of crime, witnesses, their family and friends.

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